Rainy Day

It's been non stop cold dreary rain since I woke up this morning. Such a strange way to end a pretty nice week of weather, hopefully tomorrow is nicer, as I promised to take the kids out to do something. I've just been trying to study and catch up, these muscles just keep getting bigger names and harder.

I finally got to work out at the gym after a week or so since my daughters have been sick with colds- I can really tell my arm muscles getting firmer. I tried a harder cardio workout, and couldn't finish all my excercises, that wiped me out good, but at least I know I got a good workout.

Been still feeling bleh lately, I talk to people but still having trouble, and defintely hard to keep a good mood, supposedly after depression its supposed to get better? But does it really or most people just have an easier time at covering it up than I do?

I'll try to enjoy some time with my kids tomorrow.

Here's a ColdPlay song that sums up my feelings at the moment.

What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know it, if you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know when you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

Ohhh - Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
You know that darkness always turns into light.
Ooh-ooh, that's right

New Dream Journal

I installed a separate blog for recording my dreams in an online journal. The first post can be found at http://toddjumper.com/dreams/

Today was very nice. I got to school to get ready for my 9th massage, only to find out that someone cancelled or they did not get to schedule for me, so I had to hang out at the school for that hour anyway. I didn't mind relaxing, and just reading something in the library and then our clinic supervisor asked me to file away client's folders, so I just talked to her a bit and let her get to know me a little.

Carrie was excited today since she was able to hold off on a house payment and finally get groceries and some other things, we got a like-new self propelled mulching lawn mower from our neighbor for $75, which was a good deal in my opinion.

I'll be getting a 3rd used computer soon. I still need to repair the Dell laptop, I have gotten like 2-3 offers from classmates to buy it but not sure if I want to depart with this one if I get it fixed, it has the works and worth at least $1200. If I got a good enough offer I might do it but so far only offered a few hundred.

Tomorrow is earth day and we'll be having a hour and half lunch break for a picnic and excercising outside.

I found out today I am only one of 3-4 people in my class who have started their clinics, and I am almost done with my first 10 already. That would be amusing to see 70 percent of the class held back.

Damnit!

As Jack Bauer would say on 24, DAMNIT!

 

This still won't upload right.

My web site is reverted !!

Posting to my blog via email works for some reason but since my website was reverted without much warning and when it came back online I lost 2 1/2 months of data, fortunately its backed up locally.  So just testing this again to see if it will publish correctly.